Hello, and welcome to my little corner of quirkiness. The purpose of this blog is to make it easier to connect with my readers. It's really that simple. The name of the blog, "Quirky Dreams," is relevant only in that my dreams are often quirky, unusual ones, and they are also where I get many of my writing ideas from. I dream in full-length, color, high-def story lines, and if they are remembered, I write them down. Parts or all of these dreams may enter a story. A story might be based around a single dream or an idea from a dream. Regardless of which it is, this is my writing blog, so kick back in your chair, bed, recliner, or airport terminal, and enjoy the blog.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Cell Phone Fantasies

A girl in class today was boggled by the thought of not carrying a cell phone at all times. I, admittedly, hate carrying one. I enjoy unplugging from the digital world and absorbing the world around me. To me, the phone is a constant pressure. I have to check it, pick up calls, and reply to messages. Sometimes I just don't want that.

Today though, this girl found out that I don't always carry one.

"What if an axe murderer jumps out at you?" she asked almost as if she was worried for my safety. "What if someone is stalking you?!"

I didn't have a witty comeback. I'm not exactly Miss Popularity, and being social usually confuses me. I can do it in theory, but in practice is another story.

But something about that struck me, and I began imagining.

Imagine, I'm walking along down a dark road, minding my own business. I'm not sure what I'd be doing on a dark road alone to begin with, but let's just say for the sake of the argument, that I am. Maybe a dragon ate my car while I was in the corner store and no one had a working phone. Let's also say that no one cared enough to do anything to help me, and there was no such thing as police. Also, the dragon mysteriously vanished, so it looks like it's okay to venture out.

So there I am, walking down a dark road in air cold enough to hurt my lungs, with the wind rushing past and crunching across snow.

Suddenly, I hear another set of footsteps crunching on the path behind me!

I don't look. I don't want to be paranoid after all. It's probably just some other person whose car got eaten by a dragon. Besides, making eye contact is a sure way to start trouble!

The noise gets closer. I quicken my pace, my breath coming faster now.

The steps behind me break into a run.

I whirl around to face an axe-wielding maniac with a wild look in his eyes and--

--start dialing my cell phone?

No no, I say. That can't be right.

I whirl around to face an axe-wielding maniac with a wild look in his eyes and--

--whip out my trusty cell phone and throw it at him!

No, still not quite right. First of all, my aim is horrible! You should see me try to play baseball! There's a reason I'm always picked last. The cell phone would have a 90% chance of flying wide. Not good odds for someone in a life-or-death situation. Secondly, I don't think it would do more than make the maniac giggle a little.

Okay, okay. One more try.

I whirl around to face an axe-wielding maniac with a wild look in his eyes and--

--I pull out my iPhone and start using the app that makes gun sounds! The maniac takes off running, because after all, everyone knows an axe is nothing next to an iPhone gun!

Too bad my phone isn't an iPhone. Or anything that could use that kind of app.

Yeah, a can of pepper spray wouldn't be nearly as good as a phone! So remember, kids! Bring your cell phones along in case that axe murderer is looking for you! Maybe he'll...be distracted by a cool app. Yeah. Um. That.


  1. No no no! You bluff. Hold up your hand and say "Hold that thought. My cell's vibrating."


    "Hello? Oh hi Chuck! Yeah, yeah, I won that Tae Kwon Do competition. Yep! Five cement blocks! Can you believe it? Almost got DQ'd though.... Why? Oh, you know me. I get a little rough during the one on one stuff, I-- Oh, you heard about that huh?...(heavy sigh) Yes, Sense i Norris, I know we don't break limbs in tournaments....Yes...Yes... Alright Sense i, I'll be there tomorrow to spar with you...."

    By now he should get either bored or scared and run off.

  2. No, Mark... I don't think your ploy would help. What makes you think the Axe murderer would be rude enough to eavesdrop on someone else's phone call?

    Better to use preventive measures. Renee should change her deodorant brand.

    If she would just stop buying that overpriced, marketed-to-adolescent-males, macho brand, and shift to something a bit more feminine, it should help a lot.

    If the choice is one or the other, I'd certainly refer not to deal with Axe murderers, but Ban murderers instead.

    [In honor, Renee, of your love of bad puns...]